


zinnias and happy endings

by orphan_account



Series: petals and soulmates [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-11-02 11:03:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20724008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Suzanna has always been able to see soulmarks, just not her own.





	zinnias and happy endings

I’m not sure when I started seeing soulmarks. I don’t think I ever  _ didn’t _ see them. My parents had matching soulmarks, and they stayed together until they both died when I was fourteen. Their soulmark was a gerbera daisy, which I later learned meant cheerfulness. 

Fitting for the happy, still-in-love couple who died together. 

As far as I know, I don’t have a soulmark. 

Ever since Mom and Dad died, I moved in with Grandmother. She’s a florist, and so I am too. Grandmother has a dark pink rose soulmark, which symbolizes mourning. It makes sense for the old, old woman whose husband and only daughter are both dead. 

She calls me Zinnia. It’s the one flower she won’t tell me the meaning of, and I’m not going to look it up. She doesn’t want me to know. It’s as simple as that. My legal name is Suzanna, so I guess it’s not far off. Most of the regulars at our flower shop think Zinnia is my real name. 

I guess it is. Someone’s real name isn’t necessarily the name they were given. Even Mom and Dad called me Zanna. It’s not Zinnia, not really, but I guess I can see where Grandmother got it from. 

There are a lot of people who come to our flower shop, but I can remember a few meetings I’ll never forget. 

Lizzie. 

She burst through the doors, asking very loudly how to say ‘fuck you’ through flowers, then patiently waited for me to explain all the meanings so she could choose a few flowers for her bouquet. In the end, we spent nearly an hour laughing and chatting over flowers, their meanings, and how to get the point across without being obvious. I got her phone number and she told me about how she caught her boyfriend sleeping with her best friend and they didn’t know she’d caught them. Her soulmark was a prominent lisianthus bloom on her cheek. 

Sorrel. 

I’m not actually sure when I first met Sorrel. He’s always been there, picking out pretty, well-meaning flowers to walk down the street and give to those who weren’t having such a great day. He’s my best friend, no matter what. I couldn’t imagine a life without him. 

His soulmark is covered up, or maybe he doesn’t have one. If I were to choose one, I’d give him sorrel, meaning affection. Sorrel gives out affection to everyone, like it’s free. Unconditional love isn’t really something I understood until I met Sorrel. He just… loves. 

If I’m being honestly, Sorrel was my first crush after Mom and Dad passed away. My crush hasn’t really faded, but I don’t mind. Sorrel isn’t like that, I can’t imagine him with a romantic partner. My guess is that he’s aro ace, but I don’t know. He’s Sorrel, and that’s enough. Being his best friend is enough. 

Brie. 

She was the first mute person I’ve ever met, and she’s incredibly smart. She loves writing, and I remember when she first walked into the shop very clearly. It was a bright summer day, and she came in quietly and handed me a piece of paper. 

It explained that she was mute and didn’t know if I knew sign language, then asked for about fifteen different flower meanings. 

Her soulmark was a lisianthus, too, and the mutual pining between Lizzie and Brie is ridiculous. Lizzie pretends she’s straight, goes out with guys, and acts like her feelings mean nothing. Brie thinks she’s too quiet to be with Lizzie. 

I think she’s exactly what Lizzie needs: someone to calm her down. 

At some point Lizzie started dating some guy with a yellow hyacinth soulmark. Jealousy. He wanted to move away, so she did. Brie was next, shipped off to some deaf boarding school, even though she’s only mute. With Lizzie gone, she didn’t really have a reason to stay. Sorrel headed off to university not long after them. 

I think I gave up on friends after then. I still texted them, but I didn’t make any more friends. 

The fourth person who I remember walking through that door was Willow. He called me Zinnia right away, even though my name tag said Suzanna. He was quiet and a little mysterious, and I was quick to befriend him as he came in nearly every day. 

Until one day he brought me a purple lilac. Two days later, Sorrel came back with a red rose. 

No one really warns you what to do when the two people you have feelings for hate each other with all their hearts. Yeah, the standard love triangle. But it’s so much more complicated than that. You never know who you’re going to end up with. There isn’t an obvious choice. 

You don’t want to break a heart, but no matter what you’re going to. How am I supposed to choose like that? 

The ‘love triangle’ lasted for nearly three years, until Grandmother died. On her deathbed, Grandmother told me what Zinnia means: longing for absent friends. 

My Zinnia is all along my arm. I understand it now: I’m not the girl who gets the happy ending. I’m the girl who loves her friends, and watches them all move on. 

Yesterday, I got an invitation to Lizzie’s wedding. She’s going to marry some man I’ve never met. Happy endings, like the one Mom and Dad got, are rare. I’m pretty sure Willow didn’t get his. I haven’t spoken to Brie in a while. Sorrel fell in love again, to a guy with a yellow rose on his ankle. His sister had a matching yellow rose on  _ her _ ankle, and the two siblings were best of friends. 

Sorrel got his happy ending. I didn’t. Willow didn’t. Brie didn’t. Lizzie didn’t. 

I think I’m going to Lizzie’s wedding. I think I’ll try to find Willow again, try to talk to Brie again. Maybe someday I’ll love again. But today, I’m just Zinnia. The girl who is longing for absent friends. 


End file.
